Alexander City Altitude Club

⚠️ This dispensary does not exist.

The premier lakeside fictional dispensary at Lake Martin, perfect for imaginary boat days with pretend premium cannabis. Dock space not included.

200 Lake Martin Dream Road, Alexander City, AL 35010

256-555-2020 (not a real number)

Mon-Sat 10am-8pm, Sun 11am-6pm (imaginary hours)

Products at This Fake Store

Camellia Calm Lotion

Topicals / Lotion

THC 6.0%

$45.00 / 4oz bottle

Silky fictional lotion with camellia extract and imaginary CBD. Rub on skin, ...

by Camellia Chill Topicals

Talladega Cool Lotion

Topicals / Lotion

THC 9.0%

$40.00 / 4oz bottle

Cool down after a fictional race day with Talladega Cool Lotion. Menthol and ...

by Talladega Topical Lab

Longleaf Pine Salve

Topicals / Salve

THC 8.5%

$30.00 / 3oz jar

Infused with the fictional essence of Alabama's longleaf pines, this salve is...

by Longleaf Lotion Lab

Magnolia Full-Body Lotion

Topicals / Lotion

THC 5.5%

$52.00 / 8oz bottle

Head to toe fictional wellness in a magnolia-scented lotion format. Imaginary...

by Magnolia Blossom Topicals

Satire Ends Here

While the rest of this site is a joke, cannabis prohibition is not funny. Opiates and hard drugs are devastating communities. Cannabis is not the enemy. Here's how to take real action in Alabama:

Advocacy Organizations

NORML National

The nation's largest cannabis advocacy organization, working to reform marijuana laws since 1970.

Marijuana Policy Project National

The largest organization working to end marijuana prohibition in the US.

Contact Your US Senators

Federal legalization requires federal action. Tell your senators where you stand.

For state legislators, visit openstates.org — enter your address to find your representatives.

⚠️ SATIRE DISCLOSURE

This is a work of political satire. All store names, brand names, products, and events on this site are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to real businesses is coincidental. No cannabis is sold here. This site exists to highlight the absurdity of prohibition and to connect people with real advocacy resources.

Questions or concerns? Contact us

Alexander City Altitude Club

Products at This Fake Store

Satire Ends Here

Advocacy Organizations

Contact Your US Senators

Other States Also Waiting for Legalization

FREE STATES — Where Adults Can Legally Enjoy Cannabis